Strawberrytwinkle :)

ako payat!

2011-12-01T20:56:00.000+08:00

Am i lucky or not for being so skinny? :)))

i love myself!

My sweet Escape.

2011-11-30T17:22:00.002+08:00

di ako mka log in sa Ran Online. HAHAHAHAHA.
stupid. kung kelan wlang pasok at wlang hadlang. ska ako hindi mkalaro.
hahhaha. so stupid, indeed.

Anyway, I love you bhamba22. :*

YOU'RE INDEED MY SWEET ESCAPE. :*

Natal Post :P

2011-11-25T20:35:00.003+08:00

US.

Nag birthday ako sa Shakey's Pizza Katipunan. Gusto ko sana sa Eastwood nalang, kaso birthday nila eh, sila nag decide. I had fun, except the fact that I'm 19 years old now, I still love to say I'm 18 years old when people asks my age. For me 19 years old is a bit OLD. hahaha. Im gonna face the new chapter of my life with these eyeglasses. I used to have a good eyesight but books and online games destroyed my eyes. I still play Ran Online and I have good online friends, i love to talk to them always, it seems like I'm in a different world whenever talk to them. Same feeling when i read books. I have to distract myself, if i dont do this, i might die because of this pain and agony. :) (no further explanations on what I'm going through, ayaw ko pagpiyestahan at kaawaan ng lahat dahil sa kagagahan ko sa buhay :P)

I just wanna live my life while i'm alive :">

happy 19th to me :P

Pre birthday post

2011-11-21T18:06:00.000+08:00

A while ago i was watching my Debut AVP. It was played last year on my strawberry party. I was reminiscing my debut days. Last year on this day, i was busy preparing for my debut, I can still smell the scent of that day here in our house, I was so happy wearing my pink gown, waving my curly hair, and holding some flowers. Everything was magical. All eyes on me. All of them are admiring me as if im the only beautiful girl in their eyes. I cant believe, 1 year has passed, and now I'm turning 19. Goodbye 18 year-old days. I do cherished you, but i have to go on and say hello to the new chapter of my life. :')

teehee~
6 hours left.

Last day of my sembreak

2011-11-08T01:10:00.003+08:00

Sad. I have to enroll tomorrow, the sad part is, i have to wake up early. I have 3 subjects to over load. Spanish2, FS115 and freakin' PE4. I have to view my grades also. -_- My bestfriend told me that she failed one of our major subject, so im kinda nervous i might be failed too. Today, i have no idea about it and im carefree, but tomorrow, when i sit and open my grades on our library, it might change everything. What to do? I should pass all of my subjects. I dont want to be a misery to my parents, and to be compared to my brother who graduated on time.

Preparing for tomorrow.

2011-10-28T22:39:00.001+08:00

Island cove for tomorrow oyeah. After this hell semester, at last, i will have a time to enjoy myself in outside world. School-Home-School-Home routine for 5 months sucks. I have to pack my things later, especially my dress and clothes for pictorial, swimming and a lot more! :D

Too bad i have a lot of scars in my left leg, the wound that just popped out in my leg, I dont even know where it came from. (apparently it came from my carelessness and clumsyness) it bleed so hard. Then yeah, it's a freaking wound right now (sebo de macho please fix my scars~!! im begging you.) Also my rashes in my right leg. K i hate my legs now. HAHAHAHAHA. yucky. ( just kidding, i love every part of me teehee)

Almost 2 weeks before Second semester stars, I havent enjoyed my break yet. Maybe after our Island cove trip, i'd join my mom who goes to Greenhills almost everyday. I cant understand why she have to go there everyday, but it's kinda okay because she always buys few new stuffs for me. :D Second semester is kinda more hell that previous semester because the practicum is coming, like yeah, OJT. So i have to be productive in my break. :)

Have to pack things now, i just cant leave this chair and pc without blabbing anything about this preparation and the sembreak.~

Ha~ bye!

Bad dream.

2011-10-27T01:34:00.001+08:00

Such a bad dream i had last night. My dream was about my THESIS. Me, Margie and Reia passed the thesis class, except Tina. That dream is a bad sign. I remember last last semester, i had a dream that i passed my Spanish1 class. When i viewed my grade, I was dropped.

Oh my goodness what should i do?

Cant wait to have you, Sunshine.

2011-10-17T03:18:00.000+08:00

I envy my other friends because it's their sembreak already. Me? No. Thesis. FS140 exam. and a lot more. Gahd i cant wait to have a sembreak, the last sembreak of my life. I have to be extra more serious in my thesis, I cant fail it, honestly. I dont want to hurt my Mom, i know she'll be more disappointed that me if i fail my thesis. I know she's excited that her one and only little girl will be graduating next year and i know she'll be proud of me. I'm doing this for my Mom, and my Dad also.

Back to work, i have to finish my FS140 political report.
Bye~

Stressful Week.

2011-10-12T23:06:00.001+08:00

Im still doing my best to cope up with the things i have to do. Requirements. Thesis. Final Exams. God, please help me. I need you the most at this very moment.

Smile bhamba like everything's fine~ :*

happy birthday mama!

2011-10-07T01:21:00.001+08:00

We celebrated my Mom's birthday at Johnny Rockets Eastwood City, Libis. It was fun and i really had fun listening to old songs on the juke box. I really appreciate old songs just like how my father appreciate them.

We ordered the biggest burger I've ever seen in my entire life. :)) Or maybe I'm just always stuck at home and i dont have any idea how big burgers are nowadays. hahaha. Unli fries is the best thing i adored the most in Johnny Rockets. I love fries! :D who wasn't?

I really had a good time with my family and Camille, my Kuya's GF. She's so bubbly, nahahawa na nga ako sa kanya. I've never been so bubbly these days. We even danced with the Johnny Rocket's crew. I cant recognize myself that night and i adored the new me :))

I'm planning to celebrate also my birthday in Johnny Rockets. The place is so 1980's US. I adore the songs so much. the atmosphere. Everything. I. just. plain. had. a. good.time. :*

i love to love you. :)

2011-10-05T21:49:00.002+08:00

Why so serious? hahahahaha.

I love to love you. :">

confession#21

2011-10-05T01:49:00.001+08:00

My life is in a total mess right now.

I need to sort my life out right away, before REGRETS invade my entire being.

My school standing sucks, my health sucks, my hair sucks.

Motivation please?

confession#20

2011-08-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

I CANT STOP THE HURT INSIDE.

MY GOODNESS. Im trashed, scattered and dumped and everything. How to smile? How to laugh? I feel so worthless everytime he makes me feel that he'd be alright without me.

K fine.

KUNG KAYA MO. KAYA KO RIN.
!@#$%^&*(asdfghjk!!!

confession#19

2011-08-21T00:28:00.000+08:00

dear you,

i dont have the guts to talk to you at the moment.

you destroyed the entire me, in one snap.

you made a big hole in my heart.

YOU LIED TO ME.

yan ang kinakagalit ko. yan ang pinakaayaw ko.

tinago mo sa akin lahat. you're secretly talking to the person i hated the most.

you win, affected ako. happy now?

dont you ever dare to reverse me, if you really love me and you still want me in your life, mag effort ka. ipakita mo sakin na dapat. Patunayan mo sakin na mahal mo ko.

at pag di mo yon ginawa, Papatunayan mo lang sakin na hindi mo ako mahal.

yung nakaya mo ngang mag sinungaling sakin, sign na eh?

kung sayo wala lang yun, pwes, sakin meron!

confession#18

2011-08-15T23:49:00.001+08:00

i was completely hurt that night. Im so confused and bothered in his words. i was crying so hard, but he left me all alone, crying on that night, and my tears are pouring so hard as i watch him walk away from me, the sad thing is i cant do anything but to watch him go. I cant believe he did that to me. I cant believe that he can do to me the things i cant even imagine doing to him.

I suck.
This is not normal.

confession#17

2011-08-09T02:13:00.001+08:00

he always makes me feel that im replaceable.
while me, i always make him feel that no matter what happen to us, i will never replace him.
silly bhamba, you're such an idiot.

confession#16.2

2011-07-31T04:54:00.000+08:00

i feel so weak without him. i dont want to tolerate him but i cant stay mad at him. i dont know what to do. my head is spinning, i feel like im gonna collapse anytime, i know may mali ako, him either. I just cant understand kung bakit laging sinasabayan yung galit ako. the fact na i have my period, mainitin ulo ko. ewan ko kng bakit hindi nya ako kaya intindihin.

siguro immature siya
siguro di niya ako ganun kamahal
siguro naaapakan yung pride nya pag alam niyang tama ako.
siguro talagang gusto nya ako paglihiman that time which is wrong.
siguro mahigpit ako? pero inamin naman niya sakin na nagsinungaling siya na hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit kelangan pa hindi sabihin sakin yung pagpunta niya ng Trinoma.
baka may kasamang iba kaya hindi sinabi sakin? kasi kung tita at kapatid nya kasama nya he would be glad na sabihin yun sakin kasi nagbabaet sya.
baka talagang hindi sya open sakin.
baka
nga
ganun
lang
talaga

.......... knife please, i would be glad to end my life now.

joke. mag ppray ako. i have my God. always remember that.

im not worthless, and you dont have the right to say that to me, you aint even my parent to throw that word to me.

confession#16

2011-07-30T23:17:00.002+08:00

IM THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF THE PERSON I LOVED THE MOST EVEN IN HIS DARKEST TIMES.

-- I FUCKIN DONT DESERVE THIS!

confession#15

2011-07-27T16:02:00.006+08:00

inuuna ibang bagay*?
(*maglaro, makipagkita sa friends, friends i mean lahat ng klase ng friends, at KUNG ANU ANU PA.)
bago ako*?
(*itext ako, puntahan ako, alamin kung buhay pa ba ako.)

THAT IS NOT NORMAL ANYMORE.
it's not fair and it's really not okay, it's really not okay.

it should not be tolerated.

confession#14

2011-07-26T17:27:00.002+08:00

minsan akala mo napaniwala mo na siya sa kasinungalingan mo.
yun pala alam na niya ang totoo, sinasakyan ka nalang niya.

wag makampante. :)]

*BURN

confession#13

2011-07-24T20:49:00.004+08:00

Landiin ka man ng sinu-sino kung alam mong iba ang mahal mo,hinding hindi ka tatablan.
-Tomo Kawazoe

True. Kasi, kanino ko nga ba un narinig.. Na ang mga lalaki. Mapupusok. Lagi nila idadahilan na. "sila naman lumapit ah?" See? Yung lumapit pa yung may kasalanan. Eh from the first place, they can ignore the girls naman kung aware sila na makakasakit sila, at kung aware sila na MALI un.

Minsan nakakatakot din yung mga lalaki na friendly. Ginagamit nila un as tactic para makapangbabae. Haha. Or yung iba naman, baka tlgang friendly lang.

Minsan, ang problema, nasa babae naman. Naiinggit ako sa ibang girls kasi hindi sila selosa tulad ko. Haha. Or maybe I'm just too In love with my guy kaya ganun talaga.

Nakakairita din yung babaeng lapit ng lapit sa mahal mo. Yung walang respeto. Haha. At akala mo eh yung mahal mo nalang ang lalaki sa mundo. Sarap nila tirisin isa isa! hahaha.

Ay, Ewan ko ba. Bsta promise nya sakin, hindi kami masisira sa babae. Sana nga. *cross fingers*

HIM.

2011-07-24T03:17:00.000+08:00

Bakit mahal na mahal kita?

Please explain it to me.

T.T

Sana maging okay na lahat satin.

I want a normal and happy relationship.

confession#12

2011-07-12T22:46:00.005+08:00

I caught him lying to me. In my face.
K. burn

confession#11

2011-07-06T00:13:00.000+08:00

Behind my smile is true happiness. :)

more lalalove to come. :>
he's the sweetest guy, all of the heartbreaks I experienced back then with him is all worth it. Even he's bad sometimes, he's the type of guy i'll fight for no matter what. :)
me loves you mushroom.
you know how to control my heart and its amazing how i never get tired of you even we're together almost everyday. :)
stay the same, i'll never get tired.
this time, i mean it. :)

confession#10

2011-06-23T22:01:00.002+08:00

bakit pag ako nagpapatawad agad? kasi hindi naman kita matiis eh. bakit pag ikaw halos hingin mo buong mundo, halos ibato mo na sakin lahat ng masasakit na salita, bago mo ko mapatawad? kung alam mo lang kung gaano ako nagtiis kahit andami kong naririnig na bad sayo, kng gaano ako nagtiwala kht alam ko sa sarili ko kng ganu ka kagago, tpos ako hnde mo kaya patawarin agad? tpos ssbihan mo ko ng "fuck you"?

confession#9

2011-06-06T00:28:00.002+08:00

i hate you so much :(

naiinis ako. kasi nagagawa mo to sakin. lagi nalang ako dinededma. lagi nln ako hinahayaan na mag worry. bakit pag sa iba nagagawa nya. sakin hndi. naiinis ako :( di ko na alam kng mahalaga ba ako sa kanya o hndi. ansama ng loob ko gsto ko nalang umiyak ng umiyak.

ang unfair nya. lahat gnagawa ko para sa knya pero ung gsto ko hnde na magawa, kelangan pa pilitin. lagi nalang ba dpt pnipilit. naiinis ako!! pag ganto pakiramdam ko, usual na gnagawa ko nagsspill out ako sa friends ko but im staying quiet, o dba ansaya nasasaktan na ako ng sobra, pero ung gsto pa den nya gnagawa ko. hnd ko na alam ggwin ko.

right now, gsto ko nalang mawala. gsto ko mag disappear nalang totally, pra lang malaman ko kng anu ba talaga ang halaga ko sa kanya.

lagi nya sinasabe na mahalaga ako sa kanya pero sa pinapakita nya, prng hnde nmn.

love o fantasy? oh i hate it!!!! =(

[#will delete someday]

confession#8

2011-06-02T02:44:00.001+08:00

what are you trying to do to me? are you happy with this? what are you trying to prove?
how can you do this to me? im so vulnerable.

my weakest point should be my strongest.

never build your happiness upon the unhappiness of others. --legit

love.love.love

2011-05-28T23:44:00.001+08:00

magkkwento ako. shempre ayoko na ng kadramahan. at ayoko na ikulong sarili ko sa drama :) we had our INC Unity games kanina. Sa Manila. Tpos nagkita kami ni mushroom dun, sa badminton court. Same kami nka blue, kasi request nya. Naalala ko dati ayaw nya na same kami ng kulay ng damit, tapos ngayun sya na nagrerequest. Edi nag blue naman ako. hahahaha. Tpos ayun nameet ko ulit yung Mom nya, na ang warm ng bati sakin, which made me smile. Feeling ko kasi ayaw nya sakin. Napakilala na den nya ako ng maayos sa sis and dad nya. Kaya ansaya ko talaga kanina. Tpos nagMcdo kami. nagkulitan lang kami dun. Tpos nagdecide na kami umuwi ng hiwalay ni mushroom. Kasi yung mga kasama ko tatapusin pa nila yung game sa basketball, eh nkakatamad. Ayun nagcommute na kami. Namiss ko magcommute ng ganun kalayo. Tpos natatawa ako sa knya kasi pag inaasar nya ako panakot ko sa knya "sige ka iwan kita dito." haha kasi hnde nya alam umuwi mag isa. =)) tpos nagpunta muna kami sa SM Manila. May bnili lang tpos nagbus na kami pauwi ng central. Ayun anlamig sa bus. Natulog lang sya sa shoulder ko. Kasi hnde pa siya nkakatulog. nagaway kasi kami magdamag bago yung Unity Games, kaya ayun. tpos inantok den ako kaso hinayaan ko nalang na sya matulog muna, ako nalang magbantay sa kanya kasi baka lumagpas kami. Tpos ayun nakauwi na kami :>

Ansaya lang kasi first time ko magtravel at mag mall with him. Lagi kasi kami walang time. Busy busyhan sya, ako den minsan. kaya ayun. memorable tlga sakin tong araw na to :>

I love you mushroom, you will always be.
I dont believe in forever, ayoko din magsalita ng patapos.
but i intend you to be my only one.

confession#7

2011-05-19T00:36:00.000+08:00

Im disappointed right now. I can feel he's hiding something, lack of time, nawawala nalang bigla. He's asking for too much from me, while him, i cant even feel him.

what to do. what to do.

confession#6

2011-05-15T14:54:00.000+08:00

My heart is tired. I cant breathe properly anymore. This emotional rollercoaster is killing me slowly. Am I that bad enough to experience like this? I'm loving you more than enough, why cant you love me back the way you should? Imagine, you've hurt me so many times, I'm still here.

Im tired of your empty words and promises. I'm tired baby. I just...cant think properly. I dont know what to do anymore. I love you this much to stay even everyday is a battlefield. Every morning is a torture chamber.

Im tired..

Confession#5

2011-05-14T02:49:00.001+08:00

IT'S OUR SECOND MONTH.

i dont know what to feel. i felt happy, because its our monthsary. i felt sad at the same time because of "some problems". i cant pretend that nothing's wrong. :(

Confession#4

2011-05-07T05:51:00.002+08:00

IS HE BREAKING OUT? NO. PLEASE NO.

WHO THE HELL IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE ME WANTS A FIGHT EVERYDAY.?
i dont like it either. But i wont complain for nothing. It's because i can feel something wrong and i just want to fix it. Its like you can never fix anything without any effort in making it right. am i right?

If there's something bothering you or if there's a problem. Say it. Then let's do something to fix it. I'll do something to cooperate with you, just SAY IT. is that hard?

Dont tell me that IM FAR FROM BEING GOOD. BULLSHIT.
only if you'd tell me, i can make it right.

stop complaining that im not good enough because in the first place, youre the one who didnt tell everything.

K?

Confession#3

2011-05-04T00:44:00.005+08:00

OUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS IN HIS ACCOUNT IS HIDDEN IN ONE GIRL.

(*&^%$#@(*&^%$(*&^!!

asdfghjkl

Confession#2

2011-05-03T23:57:00.000+08:00

I honestly cant stay mad at you.

Sorry for expecting too much on you. I'm expecting too much on you because I'm willing to give more than that ''too much'' I'm asking for. Every person is different, you cant expect the other person to be like you. But I would appreciate it if he can change his lifestyle just for me. Because he loves me. :) for now, i will just wait, as long as you're trying, i'll wait.

''dont try it, do it.''

Confession#1

2011-05-01T21:38:00.001+08:00

I felt it. It was so real.

I wanna turn back time when I woke up. I wanna turn back time. Please take me there.

Dear Future Husband,

2011-04-30T22:31:00.000+08:00

Im wishing that my present boyfriend and you are the same.
Love, Me.

The last person I wanna love

2011-04-29T21:29:00.000+08:00

'cause I can't thinkAnd I can't eat
It's 3 in the morning
And I can't even sleep
'cause I'm all tied up in you

I'm falling in love with the same person everyday. He is the only reason why i wanna wake up in the morning everyday, the only person running in my mind the whole day, and the last person I speak to before I sleep, and wishing to be with him the next day, next week, and for the rest of my life.

Peacock.

2011-02-03T12:38:00.003+08:00

They are the only reason why i wanna go to school everyday.

I had fun with them during our International Cultural Festival in our School. Good thing I decided to transfer in their section. :) i love them. :*

(it's me on the left side, teehee~)

hell.

2011-01-29T20:27:00.002+08:00

Should i stay or should i go?
Or just go with the flow?

Incertitude.

2011-01-28T19:01:00.003+08:00

I can still recall every single word you said last night, the sound of your laugh, and your voice. Your voice makes me feel so relaxed. Even a single word can put my stress away.

I can trust you more than enough. I can love you more than enough. I'm offering to you the best of me.

The best things in life is in the middle of hello and goodbye.

I'll stay.

him.

2011-01-26T23:31:00.004+08:00

hello again :)

i know the fact that its been a looooong time since i updated this blog of mine. I really had fun blogging in tumblr and i cant manage to post everything here too. I miss my blogspot. :')

so i have this topic, about the guy i really like.

I liked him since the first time i saw him, i looked into his eyes and i felt butterflies in my stomach, but i ignored it. I said to myself, "who the hell is that guy? why do i feel this?" Then..i walked away.

I never thought that he would mean everything to me.

I can still recall every detail about him on that day.

I like him, and i love him.

I love his cute smile.

his sparkling eyes whenever he laughs.

the way he walk.

the way he bully me.

the way he hold my hand.

the way he say my name.

the sound of his voice.

and the way he says "i love you"

I know there's something wrong but,

I can stay.